It was futile to try to grasp what his goals and dreams were and I wondered why? I eventually figured out that he hadn't limited himself to one or two or even three things for his life. His eyes sought further than most of us could even glance.
He had the ability to effortlessly shower people with concern and care without losing himself in the process. His presence of mind was spread to so many areas that he reached so many people in his short time on this earth. He was loved by all from the moment he was born. Everywhere he went he was well received with the exception of one place and that didn't stop him from being himself. He rescued lost dogs, helped all kind of animals in need. He'd take stuff apart just to see how they worked and put it back and they he would add things to it to make then work even better. He could sell anything to anyone yet the irony is that for the most part people came to him, not the other way around. He was that approachable. To be in his presence felt normal versus not being in it felt awkward for me.
The person that I writing about today and whom I have missed for so long is Albert, my deceased brother. To state that the day he passed away a piece of me died with him is a gross understatement. He is at the center of some of my articles including the Dealing with Loss article. Time has quickly passed as it has been close to 24yrs since his death.
There are some things in life you never really chose to get over. I begrudgingly accepted that his heart no longer beats.
He was buried at the sound of Military Taps being played in the background, the flag draped over his coffin given to his widow is a memory I relive each time I hear Taps. Despite such touching farewell he is still here because his memory lives on. He passed away one month before his only son was born so now he lives on through his son and his grandson.
March was the month he was born in and every year at this time I feel him closer than ever. The fond memories of him gets me through some of the rough days and I am better for it. For if he had one day where he was down, I never saw it because he never let me see it. For if he saw me down he would make sure he made me laugh so I could see nothing other than happier days ahead. I wish you could have met him and that way you would know first hand that I am not even close to exaggerating about him. On the contrary, I left so much out.
I doubt he would be happy that I am missing him the way that I do, he would rather I smile, laugh, dance, live not mourn what will never be again. I am reminded that my high school's graduation party was the last event we shared together. I wouldn't consider going with anyone else. He always knew the latest dance steps, we danced he also danced with some of my friends. It was a wonderful evening, him so tall dashing full of life, everyone had a great time. He kept me to my strict curfew even though I wanted to stay with my friends. He had to work the next day so we left. One day later he tragically died.
Right about know is where he would say get up walk away from this, go enjoy your day therefore that is what I intend to do. At some point I'll watch a funny movie and laugh until I cry bitter sweet tears, eternally happy to have known him while at the same time sad to have lost him. Never-the-less I'll have his memories to lovingly and gratefully hold on to forever.