January 03, 2006

Double standards, chocolate and trust.

There are few things in life that set me off and when one of them occurs I either let it go or address it. Today I feel like addressing it. It's what I call the "double standard" mentality that some people attempt to impose on others. Here are a few examples...You have a splitting headache and nothing is relieving it so you rest for a while...and everyone is cool about it as they are getting all their work done. You are pissed cause you rather be working. Several hours or maybe even a day passes and you feel better so you start working and now you have to make up for the time you were not able to get any work done. The problem arises if you spend one hour too many working, then comes the wrath of "I can't believe you, spending all this time working you should be doing should be doing that." Right about the same time the first words reach my ears my first reaction (which I rather not pollute this article with) ends up giving way to my second reaction and ultimately what I end up doing, which is agree and then walk away without harming or further being harmed. I pick my battles and many I choose not to fight because to me, it is not who is right or who is wrong it is about me recognizing that nothing I can say is going to change the way a person thinks, they are who they are before and after me. They don't have an issue with you until you do something they themselves would have done, in their eyes it's okay for them to do but you are not entitled to do! Another case in point, and another reason why I have very little confidants is, that years ago I had a friend who felt comfortable telling me her problems with her boyfriend, I lend an ear and only gave advise when asked for it, as not to interfere, all throughout knowing the advice despite being solicited would fall on dead ears and eventually she regretted not listening to me. That's okay, besides that is no the point I am making. She spoke - I listened, yet the very first time I needed to talk to her and unload, she immediately pointed out that she didn't need to know my business which of course is true but I didn't need to know hers either yet I extended a courtesy and treated her as I expected to be treated until I that one and final moment that she showed me that as long as you were there for her she could care less about you.

I have had enough of the, I could care less about you as long as you give me what I want, double standard, obtuse, selfish, peanut brain, shriveled hearted and empty shelled characters! Why is this still pissing me off you may or may not wonder? My only answer is that ever so often these characters re-emerge and it's worse than the bad taste left in your mouth after b i t i n g into an old piece of chocolate, quite frankly it's sickening. So in my attempt to keep true to one of the challenges I have set for myself, I am getting rid of the stress by ranting here while reminding myself to check the (bleeping) expiration date on the (bleeping) chocolates before I pay for the them!

The good news is that where one person lets you down some one else will not, yet there is a learning curve as far as trust is concerned. I am forever more grateful to who hasn't let me down which I sort of attribute to the fact that to-date I pretty much keep alot to myself except for chocolate sculptures, that I don't mind sharing...(take that...a!)


Anonymous said...

hey norbela ....i posted a thread similar to this a while ago ...not so nearly as delicate as yours lol ...but the same thing was touched and its deceptions many have let us down ... and we then feel we casnt rely on someone else ...makes it hard for the people who we would like to share with ....its not their fault we have had to deal with ankers ..but even still we hold back from them is a lesson learned ...and one which i dont know if any of us will overcome fully ....this is a fault of ours bought on by others ....I am trying to my new thought process these days ... give people i like automatically ....and then if it is lost is there fault ..not mine ... damn it feels good to blame someone else lol .... im sorry you were screwed by these people ..but dont let it interfere with your future ...addy

norbela said...

Addy your so right, it does feel good to blame someone else..and it is a lesson learned. I will do my best not to let it interfere with my future. Thanks for the advice.

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